Dr. Carter and Ms. Hyde
by WitchGirl
Summary: Just a little something that happens when Carter’s past comes back to haunt him. Literally. And when he starts acting strangely, Abby makes it her business to find out why. Horror angst and mystery. The summery does not do it justice!
1. The Struggle for Power

Dr. Carter And Miss Hyde  
  
Summary: You know Jeckle and Hyde? Just a little something that happens when Carter's past comes back to haunt him. Literally. And when he starts acting strangely, Abby makes it her business to find out why.  
  
Disclaimer: Own no characters!  
  
WARNING: Do not read if you are easily confused!  
  
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**Hello, Dr. Carter**  
  
Lucy, you're here!  
  
**Yes, I'm here. You've been looking for me, haven't you?**  
  
It's been so long, Lucy.  
  
**How long, Carter? Months? Years?**  
  
Too long. Much too long.  
  
**But I was always here. Didn't you know that Carter?**  
  
Sometimes I thought you were.  
  
**You just didn't look long enough or deep enough.**  
  
I tried, Lucy!  
  
**Did you try hard enough?**  
  
I did everything I could, Lucy.  
  
**Did you really want to bring me back?**  
  
Yes, of course!  
  
**Maybe you were fooling yourself. Or fooling me. Or is there a   
difference?**  
  
Don't play games, Lucy  
  
**I'm not playing games, Carter. I was just wondering if you really   
wanted me back. I came back before.**  
  
But I didn't know!  
  
**Yes, you knew. I had to leave, but now, I'm back again.**  
  
And I'm glad, Lucy, glad.  
  
**Don't you want to know where I've been?**  
  
You don't have to tell me, Lucy.  
  
**Because you already know, don't you Carter?**  
  
Don't say that, Lucy.  
  
**I want you to say it.**  
  
Say what?  
  
**Where I've been. Where I've come back from.**  
  
But I can't say it!  
  
**Yes, you can.**  
  
But I don't want to say it!  
  
**Too bad, too bad. It took so long to bring me back. All that time. All that time staring out the window. All that time laying awake at   
night when even the pills didn't put you to sleep. All that time and   
now you don't want to say it.**  
  
I can't say it!  
  
**Yes, you can. Try at least.**  
  
Why should I?  
  
**Because you owe me that much. Now, tell me where I came from.**  
  
Alright then.  
  
**From where?**  
  
Me. From me.  
  
**Where in you?**  
  
From deep inside.  
  
**So deep it was hard to bring me back, wasn't it?**  
  
Yes, it was hard.  
  
**But now, I'm here, aren't I?**  
  
Please, go back, Lucy, go back!  
  
**But I just got here! And it took so long to bring me back. But now, I'm here. And you're here. At last.**  
  
Go back, Luce!  
  
**But why should I go back when you tried to hard to bring me here?**  
  
Because I'm tired, Lucy, so tired.  
  
**Why did you want to bring me back then, Carter?**  
  
You know, Lucy, you know.  
  
**Do I?**  
  
Yes.  
  
**But tell me. I want to hear you say it.**  
  
I wanted to ask you to... Forgive me. For what I did to you.  
  
**And what did you do?**  
  
I should have looked out for you, but I didn't. I'm a doctor, Lucy!   
But... I couldn't save you.  
  
**I know you're a doctor Carter. But I also know you wouldn't have been able to save me. Why me, Carter? Why not someone else?**  
  
I ask myself the same question Lucy and I honestly don't know. I  
honestly wish it were someone else. It's been so hard for me over all this time. Trying to get over that one... One night.  
  
**But what about me?**  
  
What do you mean?  
  
**I mean what about me? How do you think I felt? The knife in my back. I knew I wasn't going to make it through the night, Carter. Though all of you hoped and prayed and wished, I knew it wouldn't help. I knew I was going to die. Could you handle that knowledge, Carter? Could you handle knowing you were going to die in probably less than an hour?**  
  
Lucy, I... Anyone could have died after all that. I could have. Did it hurt you?  
  
**But I was the one that died. I was expected to die! Whether the pain was bad or not is beside the point. I just knew I was going to die.**  
  
You didn't die to me.  
  
**Yes I did.**  
  
No, you didn't.  
  
**What did I do then?**  
  
You slept.  
  
**Slept?**  
  
Yes. Laying dormant all these years to be awakened now. I'm sorry, Lucy. I was sorry as soon as I saw you. As soon as I saw your face on the floor and realized what I'd done to you. I thought, I'd make it up to you. If it took months, years... I'd make it up to you.  
  
**And then I died.**  
  
Oh Lucy!  
  
**Another death, another day.**  
  
I tried to save you Lucy!  
  
**But you were too late, weren't you?**  
  
I failed you...  
  
**And you buried me.**  
  
Yes.  
  
**Twice.**  
  
Yes.  
  
**Once in the ground, in the cemetery. And again inside of you. You buried me deep inside of you.**  
  
Yes. I tried to forget. To escape.  
  
**But you keep burying me back!**  
  
I know. I need to tell you I'm sorry. To ask for your forgiveness.  
  
**Then why not ask me?**  
  
**Because I'm afraid.**  
  
**Afraid of what?**  
  
It's hard for me to say it.  
  
**Let me say it for you. Your afraid that I won't forgive you.**  
  
Yes.  
  
**That's why you keep bringing me back and then making me go.**  
  
Yes.  
  
**Then let me say it!**  
  
Would you?  
  
**Yes. I'll say it. I forgive you, Carter.**  
  
Thank you, Lucy.  
  
**See, I said it. Now you won't have to send me back again. Now I can stay.**  
  
But I think you should go, Lucy.  
  
**But I like it here. It's nice. It's like the old days, back in the ER together, remember? And your new therapist. Doesn't he remind you of Dr. Benton? Always telling you what to do, what's wrong with you, giving you false comfort.  
  
I think you ought to go now, Lucy.  
  
**And the others. My old friends. Kerry, Mark, Elizabeth… They're still here, aren't they?**   
  
I want you to go, Lucy.  
  
**It would be just like the old days, Carter. Think. You, me, working side by side, together again.**  
  
Please, Lucy, stop.  
  
**No. I don't think I'll stop. I don't think I'll leave either. You once said: 'Put yourself in my shoes, Lucy.' Well, that's exactly what I'm doing.**  
  
You can't.  
  
**Why can't I?**  
  
Because you can't stay.  
  
**Oh yes I can.**  
  
You can't.  
  
**But I like it here.**  
  
You must go.  
  
**I think I'll stay.**  
  
Lucy, I order you to go!  
  
**Tell you what, Carter.**  
  
What?  
  
**You go.**  
  
I have to stay!  
  
**That's it. You go.**  
  
No, I can't go.  
  
**Why not?**  
  
I won't go!  
  
**Yes you will.**  
  
Lucy, this is my head. Please, Lucy.  
  
**You brought me here, but that doesn't mean you can send me away. You brought me back before and made me leave. But this time, I'm staying.**  
  
No, you can't, you mustn't!  
  
**This time, you're going, not me.**  
  
I can't!  
  
**Yes, you can.**  
  
I won't!  
  
**Yes, you will.**  
  
No.  
  
**You better go now, Carter.**  
  
No...  
  
**You can't stay any longer.***  
  
Please...  
  
**I'm here to stay.**  
  
No...  
  
**Goodbye, Carter.**  
  
  
  
  
Dave walked into the room and saw Carter laying there on the couch.  
"Hey Carter, wake up! Your shift started... uh..." he glanced at his watch, "Wow, a whole half-hour ago. Weaver's going to be pist if she comes in here and sees you like this." Dave smiled. Abby entered after him.  
"What's wrong with Carter?"  
"Nothing. Just sleeping," Dave said, pouring himself some coffee.  
"Come on, Carter, get up!" Abby laughed, shaking him. Carter didn't budge and her smile faded, "Carter?" at the way Abby worriedly said Carter's name, Dave looked up from his coffee his two colleagues.  
"Carter!" Abby said again, shaking him more violently. She checked his pulse. She looked up at Dave, horror in her eyes. Dave knew that look.  
"SOMEONE GET IN HERE!" He shouted out the door, running to Carter, and checking Carter's pulse himself. It was faint, like his breath. Mark ran in a few minutes later.  
"What the..." he started. Abby started shaking her head, looking at Carter.  
"I don't know..." she said.  
"Malucci! Get off of him!" Mark ordered. Dave had tried to wake Carter up as well by shaking him and had even slapped his face gently a few times.  
"Somebody get a gurney in here!" Mark cried over his shoulder. Minutes later, Peter came rushing in with a gurney.  
"Carter, no!" Peter said, seeing the site before him. He and Mark lifted him up on the gurney.  
"What happened? What's wrong?" Abby demanded.  
"You expect us to know? We just got here!" Mark said. Abby was lost for words as Mark, Dave and Peter rushed Carter down the hall. She wanted to help but she didn't know how.  
"What the hell, did Carter take anything?" Peter asked Mark as they turned into the trauma room.  
"Not that I know of," Mark replied.  
"Abby!" Peter called. Abby appeared instantly in the doorway, eager to be of assistance.  
"What?" she asked.  
"Look for a bottle of pills," Peter told her. Abby ran back down the hall and did so obediently, searching all over for the pills. She found nothing.  
"There's nothing in there," she told them. Mark dug through Carter's pockets.  
"He's clean."  
"Then how..." Peter started. Soon, Kerry came in.  
"Is that Carter?" she asked, "What happened, where did you find him?" before anyone could answer, Randi poked her head in.  
"Dave! Your patient is screaming for you!"  
"Right," Dave said, taking one last glance at Carter, and left.  
"What's wrong with him?" Kerry repeated.  
"We don't know! He doesn't seem to have taken anything, he was just lying there almost as if it were natural!" Mark said.  
"God..." Peter said, staring at Carter.  
"What?" Mark and Kerry asked.  
"Carter's in a coma."  
  
It was weeks later. Carter hadn't woken up.  
"What set this off?" Abby asked, pacing around Doc Magoo's.  
"Abby, calm down," Luka urged from his seat in the booth. She had been worried about him for all these weeks now.  
"Luka, I can't calm down. One of my good friends is in a coma!"  
"Abby..."  
"How could this have happened? How did he fall into this coma?"  
"Abby!"  
"Shut up, Luka!" Abby screamed. Luka was slightly surprised by her sudden outburst, "I... I'm sorry, Luka. I'm stressed, I'm worried-"  
"You haven't gotten a lot of sleep!" Luka said.  
"You're right, I haven't," Abby sighed.  
"Please, Abby, sleep, you need it," Luka pleaded.  
"What I need is to know if Carter will be OK," tears were beginning to form in Abby's eyes as she sat next to Luka in the booth. Luka put his arm around her.  
"He'll be fine," Luka smiled, wanly. Suddenly, Abby's cell phone went off.  
"Hello?" Abby said.  
"Abby, you wanted to be notified as soon as Carter showed signs of waking." Kerry said.  
"Yes?" Abby said, expectantly.  
"He's awake."  
"Thanks!" Abby hung up instantly.  
"What happened?" Luka asked.  
"Carter's awake," Abby said. And they both ran to the hospital. When they got there, Carter was sitting up and rubbing his head. Mark, Kerry, and Peter were already there.  
"Man, that was one hard struggle!" he said.  
"Carter, are you OK?" Abby asked.  
"Abby Lockhart," Carter smiled, "I remember you."  
"Huh?" Abby was only slightly confused. Then she remembered he'd been in a coma, "Never mind."  
"Carter, I am so glad you are all right. Abby was worried sick. Now we will all sleep easily."  
"Not as easily as you may think, Dr. Kovac," Carter muttered. He had a mysterious smile on his face. Something was different about him. He had the strangest air of something... else.  
"Carter, lie down. You need to lie down," Benton told him.  
"Dr. Benton. You may have told me what to do before but you aren't going to do it anymore."  
"Carter-"  
"Don't worry about me, Benton, I'm fine," Carter said, interrupting him, "I'm refreshed! I'm alive again!" Carter took in a deep breath. Abby pondered his word choices.  
"Alive again?" she asked.  
"When you've been in a coma for a while and wake up, you feel like you died and came back to life! You ever known that feeling?" Carter asked. Abby looked at Luka, Luka looked at Mark, Mark looked at Peter, Peter looked at Kerry, Kerry looked at Carter.  
"Carter, what are you..."  
"Dr. Weaver, I am completely fine, I assure you. I feel that I will be able to get back to work in a day or two," he paused. He realized something. His training. He had no memory beyond his third year of medical school. Though he didn't tell them this.  
"Carter, one thing. Have you been taking any drugs?" Mark asked.  
"Dru- Drugs... Drugs! Oh no, I'm not taking drugs, that's not why I fell into the coma!"  
"You know why you fell into a coma?" Peter asked, suspiciously. Carter seemed to know a lot about the coma that he fell into.  
"Oh, yeah, that's easy!" Carter said.  
"Why?" Mark asked, "You seemed to do it without warning." Carter bit his lip. He knew why.  
"I hit my head really hard on something and I think I got a concussion or something."  
"A concussion?" Peter asked.  
"Yeah."  
"Made you go into a coma?"  
"Possible, isn't it?"  
"Whatever!" Peter was frustrated and left. He didn't like this new Carter at all.  
"I'll meet you outside," Luka whispered to Abby. Abby nodded.  
"I have a patient to see!" Kerry said, also frustrated.  
"I should go, too," Mark said, following Kerry. Abby stayed, staring at Carter quizzically, her arms crossed, her head tilted. Carter felt as if she were trying to see straight through him with her burning gaze to the chair. She frowned. She relaxed and dropped her composure. She tilted her head back and looked up at the ceiling.  
"What's going on, Carter?" she asked.  
"Abby, Abby, Abby!" Carter shook his head, "Nothing is wrong!"  
"What's gotten into you?"  
"Nothing! I promise, Abby, you have nothing to worry about!" Carter kept saying it but Abby didn't believe it. Something was very wrong.  
"You're different..." she tried taking a different approach. She stepped closer to him.  
"Of course I'm different, Abby. Because I'm not the Dr. Carter you used to know," Abby stared at him.  
"Carter, you're scaring me now."  
"You have nothing to be afraid of. I've changed. And if you have a problem with it, you will just have to get over it."  
"You didn't hit your head, did you?" Abby asked, carefully. Carter hesitated.  
"How else did this happen?" he asked. Abby sighed. She knew she couldn't get any more out of him. She turned around and headed for the door. When she got there, she paused and turned to Carter again.  
"I will find out what's going on," she vowed, "You can count on that," and she left. Carter just looked after her, shaking his head.  
"She's resourceful, that one. I forgot how much so. But she won't find out. She has no way of knowing," he smiled. Deep inside, he felt something strange, almost painful. It was the scream of despair and anger from the real John Carter.  



	2. Frightening Results

Carter got back to work soon and was busier than ever. Abby watched him, constantly. She wouldn't let him out of her sight for a moment. His performance as a doctor had weakened but his bad attitude had strengthened and she didn't know why. She studied him like a scientist, observing the unknown. He knew it too. Sometimes, when she was watching and no one else was, Carter would throw her threatening glances. One day, he cornered her in the locker room.  
"Listen. You're never going to find what ever it is you're looking for," he whispered, when he backed her up against the wall. It was a menacing whisper, "You'll never find it because it's not there! So stop looking!" he backed away and Abby relaxed. Carter had been right, this was a new him. And no one liked the new him. She was determined to get the old Carter back, the right Carter. She didn't know how, she didn't know when, but she was going to succeed.  
At night, Carter would toss and turn. The inner battle within himself hadn't ended.  
  
Lucy, let me out!  
  
**Go away, Carter!**  
  
Lucy, please!  
  
**I'm here to stay. Forgive me.**  
  
No.  
  
**I forgave you!**  
  
And then you took over.  
  
**You wanted me to take over! You were practically begging me! I am in control! I finally have power! I'm alive again! Do you know how good it feels? You take life too much for granted. Not me. I died. I know what it's like to loose life. And now, you do too.**  
  
You aren't Lucy.  
  
**Of course I'm Lucy!**  
  
Lucy didn't lust for power. Lucy was nothing like you!  
  
**You figured me out.**  
  
What?  
  
**I'm not the Lucy you remember. I'm not the perfect, pretty, Barbie doll Lucy you knew. I'm your Lucy.**  
  
What are you talking about? What do you mean?  
  
**I'm your Lucy. I am the Lucy you created. I'm am all your blame, your torture, your anger. I am you.**  
  
No. You aren't me.  
  
**Yes. I am. Lucy is the cause of your pain. That is the part I play. The painful Lucy. The Lucy that is the heart of your heartache.**  
  
Stop!  
  
**No, I don't think I will.**  
  
Please!  
  
**Go back, Carter, you don't belong here anymore. This is my place now.**  
  
No...  
  
**Nice knowing you!**  
  
"I have to tell you, I really don't like the new Carter," Jing-Mei whispered to Abby one day.  
"I know what you mean. But, what can we do? I'm trying to find out what happened when he fell into a coma. He must have done more than hit his head. Do you think he's lying about the drugs?" Abby asked her.  
"I don't know. A year or two ago, I would have said that Carter would never take drugs, but after that bad incident... I honestly don't know if he's actually over it. But I hope not."  
"What are you ladies talking about?" Romano came in to pour himself some coffee.  
"Nothing," Jing-Mei said, innocently.  
"You know, I think I like this new Carter," Romano said, mostly to himself, his back to them, "He's finally shaped up into something more than a shell of a man. It's good to stand up for yourself and stuff. Before, he was so... well, weak, I guess," Romano took a swig of his coffee. Jing-Mei stood up, abrubtly and nearly launched herself at Romano's throat, but Abby held her back. Jing-Mei settled for words instead.  
"You think he was weak before? Carter is one of the strongest people I know! Think of everything he's been through in his life! And he's still hung in there!" Romano turned to her now.  
"Yeah, with the help of drugs," he said. Jing-Mei gave out a frustrated cry as she struggled against Abby's grip.  
"But he got through that too!" Abby cried, before Jing-Mei could retort, "If you ask me, he was stronger before the coma than he is now! Now, I think he's weaker than ever and that's why he needs our help!"  
"My God!" Romano said, no longer listening. He was staring at a chart, "Carter's performance rating has-"  
"Dropped? Of course! You see? He's much weaker! He needs our support!"  
"Damn! I have to talk to this man!" and Romano left.  
"Oh, I could kick his ass good any day!" Jing-Mei said, as Abby let her go.  
"Down, Girl. Romano's like that, remember?" Abby asked.  
"Your right," Jing-Mei sighed and sank into a chair, "you're right," soon, Kerry came in.  
"Dr. Weaver?" Abby asked, standing up.  
"Yes, Abby?" Kerry asked. Abby bit her lip. She couldn't believe she was doing this. Again. She lowered her voice to a whisper.  
"Would it be possible to get Carter... Tested?"  
"Tested?" Kerry asked, looking up at Abby.  
"Drug tested," Abby lowered her voice more as if Carter would be able to hear her.  
"I'm afraid not."  
"Why not? It would be simple. All we have to do is-"  
"No, Abby, I mean... we already tested him. He was clean."  
"What?" Abby and Jing-Mei both asked.  
"He's clean," Kerry stated again, "Nothing."  
  
"Carter, you've sure been different since you woke up from your coma. Did something happen to you?" Dave asked one day when walking with Carter in the hall.  
"I'm perfectly fine, Dave," Carter had a false smile on his face.  
"Well then how come you've been so nasty to everyone lately. And, no offence, but your work hasn't exactly improved and I'm afraid the chief noticed," Dave was treading on thin ice.  
"Let's talk about something else, why don't we?" Carter offered, through gritted teeth.  
"Seriously, Carter, I think you need help. You've been really aggressive lately and I think-"  
"SHUT UP!" Carter grabbed Dave by the shirt and shoved him up against the wall.  
"Whoa, buddy, easy there!" Dave tried to hold up his hands.  
"I said shut up! I am sick and tired of everyone telling me there is something goddamned wrong with me because there isn't! I feel just peachy! So LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" everyone around now had heard Carter's screams and was staring at the two.  
"Look we only want to hel-" but Dave was cut off, as Carter's other hand swiftly reached for his throat. Carter's grip was firm, but not strong enough to cut off all air yet. He could feel Dave's pulse begin to quicken under his palm.  
"You only want to help?" Carter asked, "I could take that from Abby. I could take that from Peter. Because that's all they do. Try to help when they really make things worse. But you! You live to make people miserable. Slime-balls like you never help anything! You egocentric brat!" Carter spat.  
"Carter, put him down!" Abby yelled, running to the two men.  
"Stay the hell away, Lockhart!" Carter yelled at her. Abby stopped in her tracks. What did Carter think he was doing?  
"Carter, let Dave go," Kerry said, slowly.  
"Why the Hell should I? Give me one good reason for me to let this bastard live!" Carter was getting angrier by the minute and there was no doubt in Abby's mind that Carter *would* kill Dave if he got the chance.  
"Because you could go to jail for the rest of your life. You may even go on death row. Please, Dr. Carter, the man down," Kerry said, calmly. Carter looked at Kerry, then at Dave, then back at Kerry.  
"Death row?" he asked  
"Yes," Abby agreed, hoping this would get Carter to leave Dave alone.  
"I like that..." Carter grinned evilly and turned to Dave again. His grip tightened and Dave's hand's flew to the hand at his throat.  
"Carter!" Abby said, running to him again. She tried to pull him off of Dave, but he was so strong, "Let... Him... GO!" She struggled to get Dave free. Finally, Carter let go of his own free will and Dave fell to the floor, gasping for air, staring up at Carter in horror.  
"God damn it, Carter!" Abby swore, panting slightly herself, "What the Hell *has* gotten into you?"  
"Maybe you just answered your own question," Carter's face was expressionless now and he turned around and began to walk down the hall. Abby stared after him. Kerry ran to him and grabbed him by the shoulders. She swung him around.  
"Carter, you could be arrested for attempted murder!" she said, her anger escaping from her would-be calm appearance.  
"Relax, I didn't kill him. I was just having a little fun," Carter laughed and Kerry couldn't believe it.  
"Fun? You call that fun? You scared Dave half to death! Abby's right, something is wrong and I don't know why you won't tell us!" Kerry shouted. Carter sighed.  
"I should have quit before when I had the chance, but I figure, why not do it now? Do you hear that, Weaver? I quit! I have HAD it with all of you!"  
"Carter..." Kerry stared at him in shock, and then, her face grew serious again, "Fine," she said. No one could believe it. Kerry was letting Carter go?  
"Dr. Weaver-" Abby started.  
"No, Carter's right. Maybe it is time for him to go. But I won't let you unless you do me one favor," Kerry said.  
"You won't let me quit?" Carter asked, incredulously.  
"I will let you leave, Carter, but you have to do me a favor."  
"And what is this favor?" Carter asked.  
"That you speak with a psychiatrist."  
"A psychiatrist?!" Carter was shocked, "A shrink?"  
"Yes," Kerry said. Carter threw his arms in the air.  
"Fine, whatever!" Carter had given up. The psychiatrist would find nothing, of that, Carter was sure. And so that's why, the next week, when he went, his disguise was shattered.  



	3. Your Eyes, My Hope, Her Love

A/N: the song "Your Eyes" does not belong to me. It's from a musical called 'Rent.' OK, now this story gets really confusing!  
  
"So, you say that you have lost a lot in your life?"  
"Yeah. What's your point?" Carter asked. He was sitting up in a chair.  
"John, you need to listen to me. How often do you express your emotions? Your feelings?"  
"What do you mean?" Carter asked.  
"When you're angry. What do you do?"  
"I get angry! This is going nowhere!" Carter stood up but the man made him sit down again.  
"When you feel sorrow for your lost friends. What do you do then?"  
"I don't know. I guess it depends..." Carter said, sitting down again.  
"Well?"  
"Look, Dr. Nobrains-"  
"It's Dr. Allbright."  
"No, it isn't. It's Nobrains," Carter said, "Anyway, this really isn't going to work-"  
"John, tell me what you do to express your sorrow! Or when you wish to speak to your brother. Or your friend, Lucy, you speak so much of." Dr. Allbright said.  
"Well..." Carter weighed his options, then realized. If he told the man what he did, would it be possible for the man to find out?  
"Let me see... Violent activity, low performance average, mood swings... Do you, by chance, create your own character? How these people would react if they were still living? You are the type of person who seems to have an active imagination."  
"No!" Carter shouted, "No!" though he remembered a conversation he had had weeks before with one of these imaginary characters.  
"John, I believe that you have artificial creations that you speak to sometimes in your head. Do you feel guilt for their demise?"  
"Guilt? Ha!" Carter laughed.  
"Uh huh. Well, thank you, John, I think our time is up."  
"Good! Now I can get out of here!" Carter swung on his coat and slammed the door. In the waiting room, he saw Abby. He gave her a nasty look and left. Dr. Allbright came out after Carter had left.  
"Do you know what's happened?"  
"Yes," Allbright said.  
"What?" Abby wanted to know.  
"He has a rare syndrome. Have you ever read the book 'Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide?'"  
"Yeah, I think, back in college, why?"  
"Well, I believe that Dr. Carter has a similar situation. He feels guilty for the people that have left his life. He feels responsible for their deaths. And to try to get them to forgive him, he creates a simulation where he may have a dialogue with this person. In his mind, sometimes they can be standing right there in front of him. If the blame on himself is great, than sometimes, the character he created that represents a lost friend will not forgive him at all. The greater the guilt, the more vicious the character. If this happens over a long period of time, the patient, in this case Dr. Carter, will feel that he actually *is* speaking with his lost friend. And the more often he speaks with this manifestation, the more powerful it becomes. In extreme cases, the imagination can over come the reason of the brain and soon, Dr. Carter is engulfed by the character he created. I believe that is what is happening in this case. The only problem now is, we have to find out who is haunting his mind."  
"That's not hard," Abby said, "There's one death that's been heavy on all our consciences. Lucy Knight. But Lucy was never so violent!"  
"Of course. The real person that the character portrays always has a different personality. The Lucy Dr. Carter's being haunted by has been created by his guilt and pain."  
"How do we get the real Dr. Carter back?" Abby asked.  
"There's the tricky part..." Allbright trailed off. Suddenly, the ending of Jekyll and Hide came swiftly to Abby's memory.  
"No..." she said, "He doesn't have to... he won't... He's not going to kill himself, is he?"  
"My dear Ms. Lockhart, that is a story created by an author. The only way to get the original Dr. Carter back is if he wins the battle."  
"Battle? You said nothing about a battle before!" Abby said.  
"Yes, battle. Carter and Lucy are both battling for control at the moment. In my office, I could have sworn I saw kindness in those cold eyes. Ms. Lockhart, Dr. Carter is fighting for his sanity."  
"Isn't there any other way?"  
"The only other way is if Lucy leaves voluntarily. But I doubt that is going to happen. This is a strong creation and stubborn too. Carter must have really been beating himself up about this death," all Abby could do was nod. No words could express better how right Allbright was.  
  
The next night, she tried something she had never thought of before the discussion with Carter's psychiatrist that day. She sat down in a sofa and closed her eyes.  
"Come on. I know I didn't know her well, but if Carter can do it, I can too," she whispered, "Lucy, come one, I know you're in there, come on, I need help that only you can provide..." suddenly, memories flooded her mind like a river. Valentine's Day, music, Lucy Knight, John Carter, both bleeding severely. But most of all, the terror in both their eyes. Carter's eyes were glazed with pain and concern as well. Lucy's, with sorrow and fear. Could she have known that she wasn't going to make it? Their eyes seemed so much clearer now than they had on Valentine's Day.  
**Your eyes. As we said our good byes. Can't get them out of my mind and I find I can't hide from your eyes...** a voice sang in Abby's head. Abby opened her eyes again and before her was Lucy, clad in a white gown, blue eyes sparkling with happiness but... Was that worry?  
"What are you singing?" Abby asked, as if speaking to someone real.  
"A song. It means nothing now, don't worry," but she kept humming the tune. Abby asked Lucy a question.  
"Lucy... Why are you hurting Carter?" Lucy did nothing but smile, "Answer me, Lucy!"  
"I am not hurting Carter. Carter is hurting himself."  
"What?"  
"I'm not the real Lucy, just the one you want to see, to speak with."  
"What?" Abby asked again.  
"You know that, Abby. What's the real reason you called me here?"  
"I... Wait, you know, don't you?"  
"But I want you to tell me," Lucy was still smiling, warmly.  
"I need help."  
"Yes. What kind of help, Abby?" Lucy asked.  
"The help only Lucy Knight can give. I don't know what to do. Is there any way I can help Carter that you would know of that the psychiatrist didn't?" Lucy just hummed her tune again.  
"Lucy, I'm asking for your help, not a song! If you care for Carter, then-"  
"Maybe the answer is in the song, Abby," Lucy began to sing again, "Where there's moonlight, I see your eyes," there was silence.  
"Lucy..."  
"Don't you even wonder how Carter's character came out so different than me?" Lucy finally asked. Abby thought.  
"Because I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I don't blame myself like Carter does. But I am asking for your help. You aren't the source of my pain, you're the source of my..." Abby looked for the word.  
"Hope?" Lucy finished.  
"Yeah, I guess."  
"Hope can be wonderful, unpredictable, and mysterious, Abby."  
"Like you?" Abby asked.  
"You have hope, don't you Abby? I'm your hope. And you have faith. You have faith in Carter. Hope is a wonderful thing that can cure the incurable sometimes, can't it, Abby?"  
"Well, yeah, maybe..."  
"Then give him hope," Lucy said, "But don't give it to the wrong side of him."  
"What do you mean?"  
"When I looked into your eyes..." Lucy's song trailed off.  
"Wait! Lucy, come back!" Abby cried.  
  
Abby awoke suddenly in the chair she had fallen asleep in. That was powerful. Yet it helped her little. Her Lucy was her source of hope, but she was very vague. What was Abby supposed to do? Suddenly possessed by a power she didn't know she had, she stood up, put on her coat, and drove to the hospital, determination flaring in her eyes. She was going to succeed. She had told herself that in the beginning and she was going to follow through!  
  
She felt as if she was in an old western movie. Carter stood at the end of the hall, his back to her. But when he felt her presence, he turned around and glared at her, menacingly. Abby glared back, determination burning in her gaze like a fire refusing to die. Everyone knew something was about to happen, and fell silent, watching the two. They just stared at each other for a moment. All this scene needed was a tumbleweed to blow through the town. Abby felt as if one of them should say 'draw.' She took the first move. She took two steps closer to the man, her steps echoing in the still hallway on the floor. Clop, clop. Two simple sounds that seemed to challenge Carter, they seemed to taunt him, daring him to do something. His eyes flashed. He, too, took two steps towards Abby. Abby felt all eyes on her. She looked around and saw all her friends watching her, hoping for her. Kerry, Mark, Luka, Peter, Elizabeth, Jing-Mei... they were all looking at her. Even Romano seemed to be watching. Tons of eyes all aimed at her. Eyes. Lucy's song came back to her and came alive again in her head. Lucy's beautiful voice broke the silence.  
"Your eyes. As we said our good byes. Can't get them out of my mind and I find I can't hide from your eyes..." Abby suddenly knew what she had to do and the song died down, allowing her to think clearer. She stared at Carter into his icy brown eyes, so cold and full of hatred. She took three more steps towards him. He took two more. She took four steps, he took one more. Soon, they were barely a centimeter apart. Close enough for them to whisper to each other and not be heard.  
"What have you come for?" Carter whispered.  
"You," Abby answered simply, "You, Dr. Carter, just you."  
"Here I am."  
"No, you're not here yet," Abby said. Carter's face kept the same expression. Abby searched his eyes, deeply, strongly, for any sign of the warm brown they used to be.  
"You want him," Carter said, tonelessly.  
"Yes," Abby replied. Their faces shared the same, serious expression, "Where is he, Lucy?"  
"He's gone. And he isn't coming back. You are just going to have to accept it," he was looking straight into Abby's eyes and Abby didn't dare look away. She knew if she searched long enough, she'd find him. Somewhere in there, past the depression, past the anger, past the pain, she would find the real Carter. But Carter was the first one to look away. He turned his head and called to the others.  
"What are you all standing around for? Come on! What are we, some sort of spectacle? Get back to work, you lazy bums!" no one dared contradict Carter anymore.  
"You do have that air about you," Abby told him.  
"What air?"  
"I knew it from the beginning, there was something different, but familiar about you..." Abby ignored Carter's question so he repeated.  
"What air?"  
"Her air, Carter. There are somethings you added to that character you created that you didn't know you did. You have her perseverance; you have her confidence; you have her temper. You have the ability to scare Carter," Carter was taken aback by the last quality Abby mentioned.  
"What do you mean 'the ability to scare?'"  
"You scare him. In death just as you did in life."  
"He wasn't afraid of me!"  
"Yes, he was. He was afraid of falling in love with Lucy, the real Lucy. But now, he's afraid of you taking over. There are things you lack, as well. Lucy was thoughtful. Lucy was cheerful. All she wanted to do was help. All you want to do is hurt. So let me tell you this: You have no business being here. I think the only one who wants you to stay is yourself. So stay out of Carter's head and go back to wherever it is you came from!" Abby whispered, harshly. Carter just looked at her, blankly, but his eyes were alive again. With what? Could it be the real Carter? Then, he smiled.  
"Hit me," he said. Abby was shocked, "Hit me!" without knowing what she was doing, she slapped Carter.  
"Is that all you got?" He asked, recovering.  
"Oh, would you like some punch with that?" she asked, and slugged him with her fist.  
"Strong and witty. Wow, you're quite the lady!" Carter was sarcastic. And he annoyed her so that she decided to hit him again. By now, the whole ER was watching them again. Carter was soon against the wall, Abby threatening to throw another punch.  
"Abby, get back!" Kerry screamed.  
"No, it's alright," Carter smiled, and whispered so only Abby could hear, "You want to get rid of me that bad? You're going to have to kill me."  
"NO!" And she hit him again, this time so hard he fell unconscious.  
"Abby what on earth do you think you're doing?" Kerry demanded, running over. Suddenly, a gurney appeared out of nowhere, it seemed and Kerry lifted Carter up onto it. Kerry wheeled him away into an exam room nearby and Abby just stared, blankly after them, unsure of the power that had overwhelmed her when she had thrown that punch. 


	4. Won the Battle, But the War Has Just Beg...

A/N: I decided to get the final (short) chapter up. This is the last entry in this story, but there may be a sequal so keep your eyes open!  
  
**Why do you do this to yourself?**  
Do what?  
**This! You struggle to get control when really you are wasting your energy. You will never defeat me. I am more powerful than you could ever imagine.**  
If you are so powerful, how come I am just about to win the war?  
**You're winning the battle, Carter, but the war is yet to end.**  
Is that a submission?  
**A realization. I recognize that you have a friend that is determined to help you win. And because of her love for you, I cannot stay. But I will be back, Carter, whether you like it or not. Remember, the war is not over.**  
That's what they all say!  
**Wake now! They are expecting you!**  
  
"Carter, felling better?" Kerry was nursing a bloody nose.  
"Really, you don't have to-" Carter stopped. Behind Kerry, he saw Abby, standing in the doorway. He smiled. Kerry turned her head to see what Carter was looking at.  
"Carter, I'm sorry for-"  
"Thanks, Abby," Carter interrupted her. Both Kerry and Abby stared at him.  
"For what?" Abby asked.  
"For bringing me back to my senses."  
"No problem... I think," Abby said.  
"Well, Carter, I think you're fine," Kerry smiled, "If you would excuse me..." she got up and left. For a moment, there was tense silence.  
"Is it really you?" Abby finally asked. Carter nodded.  
"It's really me," Carter assured her, "And thanks again."  
"You're very welcome. I'm just glad that I have the real Carter back," Abby gave him a big hug. They looked long and hard into each other's eyes. At the same time, they made a decision and Abby and Carter shared a passionate kiss. As Abby licked her lips, still tasting the kiss, she said:  
"Yup, that's Carter alright! I don't think Lucy could ever kiss that good!" and they laughed together. But Carter was unsure. Would Lucy ever come back to haunt him? Would she try and take over again? She had said that the war was not over yet. Was she only saying that? Or did she mean it. In time, Carter would find out. But for now, he was safe, and in the arms of someone he loved and who loved him in return.  
  
**I'll be waiting, Carter...**  
  
The End????  
  
OK, Y'all better review or there is no sequal! 


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